Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Photo Tag

I was tagged by Nadine to do this, so I'll give it a bash.

The challenge is to go to the sixth photo in the sixth folder of your My Documents / My Pictures file, post it, and blog about it.

Here's mine:





This is my 2009 Vision Board. I made it on New Years Day this year, and since I wasn't hungover (veeeeeeeery quiet New Years Eve), the fresh, excited New Year's Juices were flowing like all the wine I didn't drink the night before.

As you can see, I was feeling very bohemian, and was planning for that to continue throughout the year. In some ways, it has been a bohemian year, and in other ways, sooooo not. We've moved again (very gypsy of us), and I've tried really hard to stick to my ideals and values. It's been hard - there have been a lot of challenges so far this year, but I know in my heart and my spirit, my belief in freedom, beauty, truth and love (tell me you didn't just think of Moulin Rouge) has remained strong, and I hope it continues to do so for the rest of 2009 - also known as Two-Thousand-And-Shine!

The board also has a lot of glow in the dark elements, and as it's above my side of the bed, I'm always awash with moon-y glow. :) yay

Believe in yourself

I have this problem. I don't always believe in myself the way I know I should. I think people think that I'm stupid or ignorant or just plain dumb, and it bugs me, because I know that I'm not. I know that I have a pretty good and functional brain, and I use it well. But I still doubt myself, and believe that others don't see the intellegent person behind these eyes.
Anyway, I've been feeling like this for a lot of reasons for the past few weeks, when I got this in my inbox this morning from Daily Om:

"Intelligence Speaks for ItselfThe Fear of Appearing Dumb
The universal need to be accepted by others can be a barrier that prevents us from being ourselves around them. When we fear that the people we encounter will perceive us as inept or unintelligent, we frequently try to flaunt our grasp of large words or clever witticisms or our professional expertise in an effort to convince them that we are smart and capable. The reasons for feeling this way can be many, and they can often stem from as far back as your childhood. Many women in particular have the fear that they may appear not smart. Yet overcompensating for this fear can have the opposite effect if others are driven away by what they see as an immodest attitude or sense that you are urgently trying to prove yourself. The simple desire to be judged smart by both new and old acquaintances can cause you to reject your true self and adopt an affected persona. But in trying so persistently to project an image of supreme intelligence or capability, you deny others the opportunity! to become acquainted with the real and terrific individual you truly are. The fear that others will perceive you as unintelligent can further influence your behavior, causing you to consciously avoid speaking your mind or asking questions. You may feel uncomfortable participating in activities if there is a chance that you won’t excel or taking part in discussions with others who may have more knowledge than you. In essence, you become ashamed of who you are and attempt to encase your identity in a veneer that others will find pleasing and impressive. It is, however, a common fear—one experienced by almost everyone at some point in their lives. The simplest way to combat it is to make a personal commitment to being yourself in your home, your workplace, and among strangers. Ask yourself how you believe the individuals you encounter will react should you speak awkwardly, need clarification, or fail to be the best at some activity. By being yourself, you will discover that all people make mistakes and ask questions and that others will like and resp! ect you because they recognize the goodness in your soul. The fact that you are willing to be yourself, letting your many affirmative attributes express themselves naturally, will help you make a positive first impression on everyone you meet and earn the esteem of your family and friends. Your confidence and easygoing manner will say, "this is who I am and I am proud of the person I have become." "

It's uncanny how often I'll be in need of a certain kind of reminder, and will get just that from Daily Om. And today is one of those days. This is exactly what I needed to hear!!!!
So from today, I will go back to being myself, the girl who doesn't give two hoots what anyone else thinks of her. I'm much happier being me anyway, so I'll stick to that. :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

FINALLY!!

No, your eyes DON'T deceive you! And no, this is NOT an April Fool's Joke. This is an ACTUAL post!!
*okay, while you catch your breath, I will just carry on here*

I know it's been a loooooooooooooooooooong time since I last posted - too long, I know. But here I am now! So yay for that, at least. :)

I have good reasons for being so absent though...


We've moved house - yay!!!! We're out that dump in Sandton, thank the stars and moon, and are in a beautiful place in Sandringham now. It's ideal for us, because the G-Force (Geriatric Force, all the old farts we co-habit with) don't do stairs very well, and there are almost none in the new house - YAY! And there are NO carpets, so it's much healthier for Dad, which rocks. Plus, the flow of the house and the garden, and just... EVERYTHING is Soooooooooooooooo awesome! (*like a hot dog*)


Here are some photos of our room, which I took about a month ago:









I think it came out pretty damn cool. And it's nowhere near done yet. We have BEEEG plans. I've talked Andy into making a headboard for us, which will begin when we get the fabric, which is BEAUTIFUL!!




Dad's been in hospital twice since I last posted. :( Both times for pneumonia, which sucks, because it means his condition is getting worse and more serious. The doctors have told us that basically time is running out and it's not going to get any better. His hospital visits will get more frequent and more serious, until he eventually doesn't come home. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to process that, and it's been taking a huge toll on me emotionally, but I'm keeping my head up and keeping on keeping on.
It's really hard to see him this ill, and so dependant on us, because he's always been so independant, and so ... ALIVE! It's really difficult to cope with the sudden change into this dependant old man, which he's never been. *sigh* I guess that's what most people go through with their parents, just not at such a young age.

So between that and work, things have been really hectic! Work has been so busy - it's one of the few industries that's picked up in the last few months. But it's because it has to do with hospitality, and with the 2010 Soccer World Cup coming here, I guess we have to get ready. It's made for a pretty hectic few months though.

I'm a little disinterested in everything at the moment though. I think it's because there's been so much going on, and I'm just on "stand-by" mode at the moment, but I know it's also because I'm a little disappointed in some things I had my hopes pinned to. I was hoping for the opportunity to prove myself more at work, and that was declined. I did get an increase though.
Okay, I lied. I'm more than a little disappointed. I'm majorly bummed. I mean, I know you can't always get what you want, but why can't you get it sometimes? *le sigh* I mean, I have every working person's ideal: more money for less work. I just can't help feeling cheated...
But, you know me, right? Always find a good reason for things happening the way they do? So I've decided that the reason for this is so that I can focus on new things: Handbags, for one! Yes, I intend to get this side of my life functional and really moving now that I have more time to get creative. I am not going to go looking for more work now, because it's not going to be appreciated, so I'm going to use any unfilled time during the day to get my mind going.

I'm also going to be doing a make up course soon - hopefully from the end of April.It's gonna be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay awesome when that happens! I'm really super amped about that! :D

So yea, that's about all the newsy-news-ness I have at the moment. My life has been so hectic that I can't even remember half the stuff I meant to blog about. But hey, this is a really good start.

I've been trying to post some more photos, but Blogger and my PC are not on the best of terms at the moment. I'll keep trying, but they may end up being in a separate post.

Hugs and fishes to all!!!

xxxx